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sammi1029

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sammi1029

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 137
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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sammi1029's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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sammi1029's favorite FMLs

Today, mah father was taking pictures of mah friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offerd to show us. He scrolld one picture too far and endd up showing us a picture of his penis. mega FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59696) - you deserved it (4553)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

today wile I was anging out wit a cute grl... I slapped er ass playfully. Se told me tat se was going to get me back. Se slapped my ass later tat nigt unexpectedly wile I was olding in a uge fart... looool It cummed out. real FML

#20832105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62913) - you deserved it (23057)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college looool fund to pay fir my cat to be flown to LA and audition fir a movie!! big fat FML

#20764588
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64649) - you deserved it (3759)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

today at the gym, mah boobs were jiggling more than the grl next to me . This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy . mega FML

#20712866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48031) - you deserved it (15481)

On 06/08/2013 at 12:42am - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand . We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast . Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he cummed to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops . FML

#20694089
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45575) - you deserved it (9099)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today , at work , mah boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. real FML

#20677176
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41832) - you deserved it (3993)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today... I learnd if u type my full name in Google Images... the 3rd thing that comes up is a nakd woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star... and most people at school stoppd talking to me. FML

#20662282
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65472) - you deserved it (5137)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commentd on what the actors were doing!! I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour!! FML

#20660939
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79756) - you deserved it (5501)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today... it's my birtday. Tree people wisd me appy birtday: Google... my insurance company... and te place I lease my car from. FML

#20649920
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53765) - you deserved it (4013)

On 05/08/2013 at 1:48pm - misc - by trice (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing mah sister recordd mah singing an set it as mah ringtone. My phone rang in class an everyone hered it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47783) - you deserved it (10085)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

TODAY, I HAD A GIANT SCANTRON TEST!! AFTER PUTTING 10 ANSWERS, I NOTICED EVERY SINGLE ANSWER WAS A!! I GOT FREAKED OUT AND STARTED PUTTING RANDOM ANSWERS!! TURNS OUT EVERY ANSWER ON THE TEST WAS A!! I FAILED!! FML

#20636525
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (50206)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, co-workar and I playad a gamahara wa giva aach othar tha bird inhatavar craativa mannar wa could coma up with . Daciding to ba snaaky, I hid bahind a wall with middla fingar up as I haard him walking into tha offica . It was boss . fat FML

#20635309
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16222) - you deserved it (36402)

On 05/01/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I was at mah little girl's concert. She plays the clarinet... and in the middle of her solo... her phone started ringing. She decided to stop... check her phone... and continue playing. FML

#20602988
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42662) - you deserved it (12731)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Aberrombie Blue - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68892) - you deserved it (17914)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

I was about to break up with psycho grlfriend!! As I sat her down..!! she told me she wantd to show me something!! She then took off her shrt to reveal name tattood acros her chest!! FML

#20595753
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69696) - you deserved it (7372)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)



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