About sammers3282 : My name is Samantha.
I am almost 18, yayy :]
I absolutely love laughing it's completely my passion to laugh nonstop :]
I apparently have a very contagious laugh and a very sexy voice ;]
I am inspired to be a Pastry Chef :]
Why Pastry Chef? I'm a very picky eatter. -LOVE potatoes. ;]
So cannot really taste all the food I make for Culinary.
I do plan on getting a Bachlors Degree in Culinary as well, guess i'll have to suck up eatting some nasty food. =[
I would love to own my own restaurant with my Pastries for Dessert. :]
I am told constantly how much of a bitch I am. The best part about it... I LOVE IT! ;]
I don't know how to change my pictures into Jpeg format so, I cannot post it. Oh well. :] -Guess I'm not nerdy like most others. ;]
BTW I adore saying Oh Man. :]
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Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18902) - you deserved it (5957)
On 11/25/2010 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (9533)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (9533)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, I wanted to try my mom's new lipstick. I opened it, baffled, examined it carefully. That's when it started to vibrate. Obviously, that wasn't a lipstick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (7436)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brabant)
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (6854)
On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was showing my Mom how to use the Internet on her phone. As there was bad reception, it said "Unexpected Failure." Seeing it, she muttered under her breath, "Just like you, then..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23457) - you deserved it (2000)
On 11/22/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by unexpected_failure (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (3401)
On 11/21/2010 at 9:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, the highlight of my day was a conversation about Disney, which ranged from Pocahontas lunch boxes to Disneyland Paris. I don't know who was more excited; me, a 20 year old man, or the 6 year old girl I was talking to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14696) - you deserved it (5691)
On 11/17/2010 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34347) - you deserved it (10982)
On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23193) - you deserved it (7817)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (3170)
On 10/15/2010 at 1:13am - intimacy - by anouk05 (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6518) - you deserved it (27879)
On 10/06/2010 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19393) - you deserved it (9181)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26942) - you deserved it (2073)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France
Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (2735)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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