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samiel1989

Offline (the 12/06/2014 at 11:49pm) | Search for a member

samiel1989

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  • Number of visits : 1639
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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samiel1989's page activity

Visits<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:15pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:28pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:04pm<b>Tuffay</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 7:58am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 7:23pm<b>imagineit</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 10:46am<b>TwentyFourXXIV</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 8:33am<b>IAMVINCE</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 2:47pm<b>TML329</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 7:26pm

samiel1989's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of samiel1989's badges

samiel1989's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21751) - you deserved it (4005)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML

#6998610
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (2691)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm - intimacy - by notexactly (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (6929)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

#6751631
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24802) - you deserved it (4567)

On 12/14/2009 at 12:06pm - love - by Mojo (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29182) - you deserved it (5363)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

#6131047
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26312) - you deserved it (2107)

On 11/03/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

#6097881
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32479) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

#6001058
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15357) - you deserved it (8967)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Brian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was flying home from LAX when I realized I left my ID back at the hotel. After making phone calls to the hotel and rental car company, I found it and made it back to the airport in time for my flight. After going through security, I realized I left my cell phone on the hotel counter. FML

#5903706
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12129) - you deserved it (31799)

On 10/19/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by LAXsucks (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

#5189788
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41141) - you deserved it (6727)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped walking down the stairs. My mom thought I sprained my right ankle. In her haste to get me to the doctor, she grabbed me and accidentally tripped me. I broke my left ankle. The right one was fine. FML

#4886431
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (2280)

On 08/28/2009 at 4:59pm - health - by dannyfanny (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85760) - you deserved it (7448)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39503) - you deserved it (6812)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I was at a bar with my friends for my 19th birthday when I saw my dad grinding some chick that was not my mom. I confronted him and told him I was telling mom. He then pointed across the bar to my mom with another man. I just found out my parents are swingers. FML

#4254409
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68891) - you deserved it (5065)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:33pm - intimacy - by myparentsarehoes (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75332) - you deserved it (6083)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)



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