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samboob

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samboob
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 June 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1166
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 3 posted

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samboob's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40108) - you deserved it (3592)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

#18417580
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31755) - you deserved it (2789)

On 12/03/2011 at 6:23am - intimacy - by djkimmaz - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27287) - you deserved it (4073)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33189) - you deserved it (7793)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27097) - you deserved it (14179)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10928) - you deserved it (54092)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26195) - you deserved it (2544)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

#17781306
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12341) - you deserved it (30672)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53212) - you deserved it (5252)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (2414)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9596) - you deserved it (75401)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

#16746008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31591) - you deserved it (6536)

On 06/19/2011 at 2:03pm - kids - by screwedwoman27 - United States

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

#16510311
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35006) - you deserved it (3186)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (4190)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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