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sambioknight

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sambioknight

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1169
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About sambioknight : I don't know. what should I put here? That Netflix is great or that my cat is awesome? I just don't know but, this will probably keep me up at night.

sambioknight's page activity

Visits<b>ilcap</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 10:32pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:51pm<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 5:23am<b>BuchiNeko</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:20am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:16pm<b>waitwhatsgoingon</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 12:33am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 3:44pm<b>jordanhraye</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 10:48pm<b>NatashaLovesYou</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 12:03am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 2:55pm<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:23pm<b>DaniPandi</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:56pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:46pm<b>Christinesayyys</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 12:37am<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 3:52pm

sambioknight's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of sambioknight's badges

sambioknight's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

#21103796
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (2967)

On 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm - work - by Welshite - United States

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44854) - you deserved it (33203)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41450) - you deserved it (6806)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (17884)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41298) - you deserved it (17786)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44140) - you deserved it (4829)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

#21099355
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38101) - you deserved it (6571)

On 03/29/2014 at 1:03pm - animals - by Galaxy (man) - Belgium (Limburg)

Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML

#21098906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37486) - you deserved it (3322)

On 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37059) - you deserved it (4732)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42769) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (5227)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML

#21095673
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (3267)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38394) - you deserved it (10046)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

#21086140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (7378)

On 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm - love - by wabbyfish (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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