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samashi's favorite FMLs
Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by ziggers10 / 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm / United States / Love
Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML
by flea-bitten / 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Work
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
by anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
by me / 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML
by NotASize0 / 04/04/2013 at 11:12am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
by poop / 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids
by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids
by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work
by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by aabadaba / 04/01/2013 at 1:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to proof-read a terrible paper containing a bunch of mistakes. It took me 4 hours and I didn't eat dinner until I was done. His response when he got it back was, "What the fuck did you do to my paper?! You bitch!" FML
by pissed_off_girl / 03/31/2013 at 10:59pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous