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samashi's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/18/2013 at 3:54am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids
Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML
by Annieisnotokay / 04/17/2013 at 6:20am / United Kingdom / Health
by Anonymous / 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by typical / 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by mets300 / 04/13/2013 at 7:22am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML
by a / 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm / United States / Love
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
by birdiebeth13 / 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids
by Goldar / 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm / United States / Work
Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML
by Annoyed Student / 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Work
Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML
by nice education you've got there / 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health
Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML
by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, during a family dinner with my grandparents, I showed them some pictures. One was a picture… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…