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samanthashelton

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samanthashelton

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 5 January 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 37
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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samanthashelton's page activity

Visits<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 1:29am<b>outoftown</b> - the 09/28/2012 at 8:39pm

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samanthashelton's favorite FMLs

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32542) - you deserved it (2379)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (2065)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a cramp while swimming. It took the lifeguard 5 minutes to stop flirting with a girl before trying to help me. FML

#19850221
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (3096)

On 06/26/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by EdgardoP - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML

#18992832
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30515) - you deserved it (5234)

On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15664) - you deserved it (53381)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (8125)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84505) - you deserved it (19397)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97756) - you deserved it (4665)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

#800907
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84218) - you deserved it (3917)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:03pm - work - by Lifeguard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (110748)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101190) - you deserved it (45781)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42629) - you deserved it (192017)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88889) - you deserved it (26987)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)



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