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samanosuke

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samanosuke
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  • Number of visits : 918
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

#8472964
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34499) - you deserved it (1933)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:59am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18117) - you deserved it (4024)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was in the car with my cousin and we saw a family of three. They where all really fat and the lady was holding 2 boxes of pizza. I decided to roll down the window and scream "fatasses" as loud as I could while my cousin drove off. They were going to the same house we were. FML

#7732891
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5369) - you deserved it (76961)

On 01/31/2010 at 2:03am - misc - by lauris1306 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (5114)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss just looked at me and said, "No. You can't quit." FML

#7414727
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (5742)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:28am - work - by toolegittoquit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML

#7396511
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26493) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/17/2010 at 10:58am - misc - by poppet2010 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found on the internet pictures of me sleeping. I sleep naked. FML

#7377706
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (6660)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:51pm - misc - by be_so_slick_56 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

#7321646
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7693) - you deserved it (27391)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - love - by cowgurl91 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (12188)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much wind-shield wiper blades cost. FML

#7296803
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15003) - you deserved it (2483)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Upbrakie - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

#7293990
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (7841)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by cold-n-stinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

#7287898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7014) - you deserved it (31449)

On 01/11/2010 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

#7284485
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19022) - you deserved it (1533)

On 01/11/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by hateskool888581 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

#7278276
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31823) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/11/2010 at 1:12pm - love - by JK2010 (man) - Israel (Hefa)



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