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samamfer's favorite FMLs
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health
by Candycane88 / 03/26/2013 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Love
by Apes / 03/25/2013 at 3:18am / United States (California) / Animals
by BaliTheDog / 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm / France / Animals
by And I'm still single / 03/24/2013 at 4:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
by Why son, why? / 03/20/2013 at 7:07am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML
by Luke / 03/19/2013 at 5:59am / United States (New York) / Work
by lanz4949 / 03/19/2013 at 12:40am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by amberrenee91 / 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by noooooooo / 03/17/2013 at 8:10pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML
by Cliché... or Touché? / 03/17/2013 at 5:07am / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by WhyDoINeedAName / 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
- Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety.… Today, I found out my husband is sleeping with my best friend. The best part? We all just signed a… Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that…
- Today, I found out my hours at work were getting cut and given to another employee. Not only are my… Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.…