samabomination

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samabomination

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1757
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About samabomination : I'm Sam and I love to write :) English is my best subject but I try not to be a grammar Nazi. I'm awful at drawing since I tend to get distracted easily.

samabomination's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 7:51am<b>Leo619</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 10:30pm<b>Iamentertained</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:23pm<b>DeadpoolBeast13</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:51pm<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:44am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:50pm<b>csjc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:54pm<b>dno79</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 9:14am<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:13pm<b>bradoiler</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 12:58am<b>BSIrishman</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Bend0n</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:57am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:35pm<b>caspergirl17</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:33am<b>Ardeku</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 9:44am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:56pm

Fucked!<b>joco4</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:51pm

samabomination's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of samabomination's badges

samabomination's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

by Idontbelieveinmagic / 06/17/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

by Sean / 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm / United States / Health

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

by random / 06/08/2013 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy asked me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replied, "But my mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in their handbags." FML

by grossesfesses / 05/15/2013 at 2:58am / France (Picardie) / Miscellaneous

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love

Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML

by obsequiousfannyflapper / 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

by great / 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love