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samabomination

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samabomination

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 569
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About samabomination : I'm Sam and I love to write :) English is my best subject but I try not to be a grammar Nazi. I'm awful at drawing since I tend to get distracted easily.

samabomination's page activity

Visits<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:18pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:52pm<b>melinal</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:03am<b>CoGhostRider</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 1:55pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:16pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 5:12pm<b>s1s1</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:13pm<b>mellyski</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:11am<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 3:03am<b>ex_omer</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:11am<b>dead247</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 5:54am<b>tangerine06</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 8:26pm<b>Mfroz</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 4:06pm<b>jumper77</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:25am<b>Gallanthrone7</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 9:59pm<b>cragzu</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 10:56am<b>adamant84</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 6:47am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:18am

samabomination's FML badges

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of samabomination's badges

samabomination's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

#20766295
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51743) - you deserved it (4435)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:17am - love - by walker - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49920) - you deserved it (12132)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

#20745688
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50019) - you deserved it (13797)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

#20745099
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47911) - you deserved it (5963)

On 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm - love - by afraid of flying too - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46649) - you deserved it (6898)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54372) - you deserved it (4450)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45552) - you deserved it (2726)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36895) - you deserved it (8671)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53350) - you deserved it (7857)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42894) - you deserved it (3912)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47539) - you deserved it (4528)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58496) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51108) - you deserved it (7721)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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