samabomination

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samabomination

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1607
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 20 posted

About samabomination : I'm Sam and I love to write :) English is my best subject but I try not to be a grammar Nazi. I'm awful at drawing since I tend to get distracted easily.

samabomination's page activity

Visits<b>Iamentertained</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:23pm<b>DeadpoolBeast13</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:51pm<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:44am<b>joco4</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 12:50pm<b>csjc</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 8:54pm<b>dno79</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 9:14am<b>Celeden</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:13pm<b>bradoiler</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:47pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 12:58am<b>BSIrishman</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Bend0n</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 11:57am<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 2:35pm<b>caspergirl17</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 1:33am<b>Ardeku</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 9:44am<b>imateapot_723</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:56pm<b>pnutbutajelly</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 10:43am<b>wondercat40</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:18pm

Fucked!<b>joco4</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 6:51pm

samabomination's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of samabomination's badges

samabomination's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

by walker / 07/06/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

by yeshehaspornaddiction / 07/02/2013 at 12:37am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

by dan / 06/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm left with two non-refundable tickets to Jamaica, because my now ex-boyfriend said his Quidditch tournament is more important than seeing my "fat ass in a bikini". FML

by afraid of flying too / 06/24/2013 at 7:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

by SillyScotsman / 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm / United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire) / Health

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

by pumboc / 06/24/2013 at 1:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Money

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

by joe / 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

by kittyfiddlernono / 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm / Bulgaria (Pernik) / Love

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 12:26am / United States / Miscellaneous