Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

salvorican

Search for a member

salvorican

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 August 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3137
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About salvorican : I hate description boxes.
1. Because I never know what to say about me.
2. I always choose something stupid to say.

salvorican's page activity

Visits<b>braver7315</b> - 2 hours ago<b>Tykki</b> - 3 hours ago<b>viperishcat</b> - 8 hours ago<b>TehAnderz</b> - 15 hours ago<b>BigJoeZD</b> - 17 hours ago<b>EndOfAllChaos</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Wrex</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Ninjahabilities</b> - yesterday at 2:34am<b>alicealiveordead</b> - yesterday at 12:54am<b>KushCrushin89</b> - yesterday at 11:55pm<b>akorpija</b> - yesterday at 10:16pm<b>catchmenow1</b> - yesterday at 10:04pm<b>Holmes27</b> - yesterday at 5:56pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - yesterday at 5:05pm<b>Erery</b> - yesterday at 4:00pm<b>pmnj19</b> - yesterday at 2:46pm<b>Kiddfresh80</b> - yesterday at 2:14pm<b>curtis_michaels</b> - yesterday at 1:49pm

salvorican's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of salvorican's badges

salvorican's favorite FMLs

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34335) - you deserved it (9549)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46508) - you deserved it (4850)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

#17431204
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34987) - you deserved it (5198)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by 6u174r_d00d - United States

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34871) - you deserved it (7371)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49184) - you deserved it (4610)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21665) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (2953)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27153) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (2699)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

#17383595
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33783) - you deserved it (3652)

On 08/06/2011 at 12:58am - love - by meach - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53099) - you deserved it (3266)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53099) - you deserved it (3266)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (3049)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (9698)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: