About salvorican : I hate description boxes.
1. Because I never know what to say about me.
2. I always choose something stupid to say.
3. I'm going to write shit anyway.
My life is literally work, the boyfriend, and my puppy Ryuu.
Ponies are freaking adorable.
Supernatural is love.
Skyrim is life.
Anime is everything.
House MD has changed me forever.
Horror is my obsession.
Pokemon taught me skill.
Video games made me who I am.
About salvorican : I hate description boxes.
salvorican's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
salvorican's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML
by Lyingg / 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work
Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
by hardtoignore / 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She got my cock out, stopped, and told me it looked like "Rufus the naked mole rat." She spent the next 20 minutes showing me pictures, describing in detail why they looked similar, and laughing. FML
by rufusthepenis / 10/02/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Intimacy
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 3:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
by astocks / 09/24/2011 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm / Germany (Berlin) / Love
by jccwell / 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML
by drastech99 / 09/23/2011 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 9:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by srloin / 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 9:17am / United States / Love
Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML
by chloeguest97 / 09/20/2011 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I had a wet dream about a classmate. Now whenever I see her I get a raging erection. I have… Today, I found a Queen Bee in my bedroom. When I tried opening the window, it got injured somehow.… Today, on my first day as a home health care provider, I walked into my first clients house to find…