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salvorican

Offline (the 08/29/2014 at 7:26am) | Search for a member

salvorican

2Liked!

salvoricansalvorican
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3518
  • Number of comments : 238
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About salvorican : I hate description boxes.
1. Because I never know what to say about me.
2. I always choose something stupid to say.

salvorican's page activity

Visits<b>Evil20071</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:34am<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:27pm<b>cmadams9654</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 3:01pm<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:11pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:59pm<b>Surfboy1017</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:41pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:44pm<b>Haydes</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:00pm<b>phuck19</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:21pm<b>mattv88</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 2:56pm<b>iti</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:01am<b>doctorhook86</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:09am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:18pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:10pm<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:48am<b>apjp</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 11:53pm<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:25pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:42pm

Liked!<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 4:27am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:18am

salvorican's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of salvorican's badges

salvorican's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46805) - you deserved it (4471)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (5803)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56912) - you deserved it (7182)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (8150)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

#21202786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (56135)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by anona (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41447) - you deserved it (2994)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40996) - you deserved it (4036)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55078) - you deserved it (11314)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my vibrator was in another room and I was too lazy to get it. I was also too lazy to do it manually. It's like I've been married to myself for too long. FML

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

#21180967
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50593) - you deserved it (6740)

On 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm - love - by forever alone - United States (New York)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52355) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55044) - you deserved it (9084)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59540) - you deserved it (8450)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I'm babysitting two 6 year old kids. One of them won't stop screaming, and the other kid found his mom's vibrator and won't stop playing spaceship with it. The parents will be home in an hour. FML

#21157917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40484) - you deserved it (4914)

On 05/31/2014 at 2:40am - kids - by moomanjohnny - United States (California)



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