Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

salvorican

Search for a member

salvorican

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 August 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3090
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About salvorican : I hate description boxes.
1. Because I never know what to say about me.
2. I always choose something stupid to say.

salvorican's page activity

Visits<b>dabears1011234</b> - 22 hours ago<b>sethe99</b> - 23 hours ago<b>mmtiki</b> - yesterday at 7:19pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - yesterday at 4:20pm<b>firefighterbee</b> - yesterday at 2:28pm<b>nickjt30</b> - yesterday at 12:25pm<b>The_Appendix_</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:29pm<b>utrax</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:45am<b>xauuxa</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:10am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:21am<b>joshreyes32</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:43am<b>dfair1987</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:31am<b>lazyslumber</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:00pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:06pm<b>a2d22l</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:10pm<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:42pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:27pm<b>justlooking1967</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:44pm

salvorican's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of salvorican's badges

salvorican's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

#17001302
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (70563)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML

#16944859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (3846)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:33am - misc - by Kamburgler - United States (California)

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33805) - you deserved it (2366)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46610) - you deserved it (4389)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

#16882947
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9429) - you deserved it (42766)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:15pm - misc - by ashhatches - United States (Ohio)

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

#16877563
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45834) - you deserved it (4040)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38339) - you deserved it (15489)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34206) - you deserved it (4386)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I purchased an app to track my period. When my mother asked me why I got it, I told her I was going to use it so I knew when to not go on a date because I don't want to be uncomfortable during a long movie. She slapped me in the face and called me a dirty prostitute and a liar. FML

#16752428
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40425) - you deserved it (7900)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by stillAvirgin:( - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63002) - you deserved it (11006)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (7020)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46502) - you deserved it (7257)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
576 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91665) - you deserved it (9891)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

#16411122
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (21050)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59563) - you deserved it (9372)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: