Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

salvorican

Online | Search for a member

salvorican

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 August 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3246
  • Number of comments : 232
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About salvorican : I hate description boxes.
1. Because I never know what to say about me.
2. I always choose something stupid to say.

salvorican's page activity

Visits<b>sonshadsil94</b> - just now<b>orbit</b> - 3 hours ago<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - 4 hours ago<b>grenadeasaurus</b> - 17 hours ago<b>Spetz14</b> - 21 hours ago<b>sethe99</b> - yesterday at 11:10pm<b>RapFan21</b> - yesterday at 10:01pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - yesterday at 2:27pm<b>Cristian89</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 11:08am<b>ML99Frye</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:07pm<b>awesome1029</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 8:15pm<b>CCzero</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:23pm<b>mattv88</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm<b>Mustang19008</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:00pm<b>lifesentence</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:02am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 7:01am<b>MarcoLoco</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:41am<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:15am

salvorican's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of salvorican's badges

salvorican's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14631) - you deserved it (49407)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (9554)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46549) - you deserved it (4854)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

#17431204
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35018) - you deserved it (5201)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by 6u174r_d00d - United States

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34927) - you deserved it (7376)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

#17417744
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49237) - you deserved it (4611)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:08pm - love - by the2girls - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (3014)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

#17391644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (2953)

On 08/06/2011 at 10:49pm - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30688) - you deserved it (2703)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

#17383595
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33827) - you deserved it (3656)

On 08/06/2011 at 12:58am - love - by meach - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53160) - you deserved it (3267)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53160) - you deserved it (3267)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (3072)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: