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saltyapple

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saltyapple

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 469
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About saltyapple : Living, loving, laughing at FML's.
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saltyapple's page activity

Visits<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:09am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:21pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:29am<b>guitarst1071995</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 8:26pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:21am<b>cjburns1994</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:15pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:56am<b>raininginseattle</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 7:20pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:23pm<b>MONTOYA412</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:42pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 9:18am<b>TheRandomIndian</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:20am<b>theworldisflat</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:46pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 7:57pm<b>dcross1213</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 12:55pm<b>PterodactylMan</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:10am<b>JukeMasterFlex</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:47pm

saltyapple's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of saltyapple's badges

saltyapple's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

#19283083
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22365) - you deserved it (5829) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm - health - by Sica - France

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

#19131070
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26733) - you deserved it (6314)

On 02/21/2012 at 1:03pm - love - by Djcc - United States

Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML

#18785359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (4937)

On 01/12/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31260) - you deserved it (5025)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into trouble with his mother for me still being at their house at 1:00 am. I'm 24, he's 22 and we really were studying. FML

#18492041
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29359) - you deserved it (4354)

On 12/12/2011 at 2:44am - love - by smurfisurfer1 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

#17930849
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (2975)

On 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm - work - by Lucas79 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44023) - you deserved it (6337)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

#13990744
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (7048)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Interrupted - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML

#13525435
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (7934)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:41pm - love - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, an old lady came through my line to buy some groceries. She told me she lost her purse and was a little short. It was busy, so I pulled out my little purse and gave her the money she needed. A few minutes later she returned with my boss, insisting that my purse was hers. FML

#13204000
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (2870)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:59am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35617) - you deserved it (15301)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

#11943305
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14767) - you deserved it (53140)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:23pm - misc - by knighton16 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

#7803413
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7047) - you deserved it (73933)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by Chris - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33700) - you deserved it (2841)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML

#7052251
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6778) - you deserved it (34359)

On 12/31/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by ParanoidFreak (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



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