saltyapple

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saltyapple

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1258
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About saltyapple : Living, loving, laughing at FML's.
(:

saltyapple's page activity

Visits<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:09am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:21pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:29am<b>guitarst1071995</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 8:26pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:21am<b>cjburns1994</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:15pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:56am<b>raininginseattle</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 7:20pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:23pm<b>MONTOYA412</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:42pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 9:18am<b>TheRandomIndian</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:20am<b>theworldisflat</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:46pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 7:57pm<b>dcross1213</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 12:55pm<b>PterodactylMan</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:10am<b>JukeMasterFlex</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:47pm

saltyapple's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of saltyapple's badges

saltyapple's favorite FMLs

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

by BIGCHEIFAAA / 04/24/2013 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to my grandmom's house for an hour or so. When I came home, my boyfriend was on the bed, covered in the sheets and about to cry. Turns out he taped his ballsack to his leg and couldn't get it off because it "hurts too much." I'm 24 and he's 26. FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

by anonymous / 04/23/2013 at 1:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm / United States / Love

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML

by Stupid / 04/22/2013 at 2:58am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

by surrounded by dumbfucks / 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 8:59am / United States / Kids

Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML

by GN / 09/17/2012 at 12:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

by lonely. / 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

by davincourt / 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

by anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

by Sica / 03/15/2012 at 3:28pm / France / Health