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saltyapple

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saltyapple

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About saltyapple : Living, loving, laughing at FML's.
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saltyapple's page activity

Visits<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:09am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:21pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:29am<b>guitarst1071995</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 8:26pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:21am<b>cjburns1994</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:15pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:56am<b>raininginseattle</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 7:20pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:23pm<b>MONTOYA412</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:42pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 9:18am<b>TheRandomIndian</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:20am<b>theworldisflat</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:46pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 7:57pm<b>dcross1213</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 12:55pm<b>PterodactylMan</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:10am<b>JukeMasterFlex</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:47pm

saltyapple's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of saltyapple's badges

saltyapple's favorite FMLs

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33765) - you deserved it (28760)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48312) - you deserved it (9361)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

#20756122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44085) - you deserved it (3511)

On 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by foreversingle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47679) - you deserved it (2563)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45985) - you deserved it (3484)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

#20751768
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42330) - you deserved it (2762)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:23am - work - by unknown relationship - United States (Illinois)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49704) - you deserved it (2840)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43977) - you deserved it (7968)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering pizzas, I got bit by a guy dressed as Dracula. FML

#20750993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41094) - you deserved it (2960)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by keiran123 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47516) - you deserved it (5886)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41101) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39261) - you deserved it (3465)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42067) - you deserved it (4608)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76287) - you deserved it (17337)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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