saltyapple

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saltyapple

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1198
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About saltyapple : Living, loving, laughing at FML's.
(:

saltyapple's page activity

Visits<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:09am<b>aa1717</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:13pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:21pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 2:29am<b>guitarst1071995</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 8:26pm<b>tralala453</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 9:21am<b>cjburns1994</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 8:15pm<b>jonathan896</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 2:56am<b>raininginseattle</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 7:20pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 3:23pm<b>MONTOYA412</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:42pm<b>maxymum7</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 9:18am<b>TheRandomIndian</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 6:20am<b>theworldisflat</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:46pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 7:57pm<b>dcross1213</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 12:55pm<b>PterodactylMan</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 11:10am<b>JukeMasterFlex</b> - the 08/04/2013 at 5:47pm

saltyapple's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of saltyapple's badges

saltyapple's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the grocery store with my husband, only to find that his ex-wife worked there. Then I found out he never actually divorced her. FML

by me:( / 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

by ronnieG / 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, I was about to make a left turn. In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting for the light to change. On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said "Honk if you love Jesus!" I gave her a honk and waved. She leaned out and yelled, "The light's red, asshole." FML

by TNDriver / 07/16/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

by muffin / 07/16/2013 at 8:01am / Austria / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain, when I accidentally bumped into a man. He turned and yelled, "Watch it, you clumsy, ugly bitch", to which I apologised and told him about my arthritis. He stared at me in confusion, then said, "Well, you're still ugly", and walked off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 3:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

by lame-o-prof / 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend convinced me do an Insanity workout with him. I passed out during the warmup. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

by Acidic Donut / 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

by readytoamputatemyfeet / 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm / United States (Florida) / Work