Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sallywifeofjack

Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 4:59am) | Search for a member

sallywifeofjack

0Liked!

sallywifeofjacksallywifeofjack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 314
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sallywifeofjack's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of sallywifeofjack's badges

sallywifeofjack's favorite FMLs

TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND GAVE ME MY FRST HANDJOB. I WAS NERVOUS... SOHEN SHE WENT TO DO IT... I PANICKD AND YELLD... "FRMLY GRASP IT!" SHE THEN COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING CUZ IT WAS A LINE FROM SPONGEBOB. FML

Today, I was having sex with mah grlfriend. Things got heatd and I yelld, ( Who's yur daddy? ) With a blank expression she replid, ( I don't know. ) FML

#21326143
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30525) - you deserved it (15293)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped yur husband an won't release him unless u postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow an it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50441) - you deserved it (4058)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

today a man startd a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracle of thing we take for grantd every day. I was really enjoying it until he lookd at his watch and said, ( Oh shit, mushroom make me lose track of time! ) and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (4448)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today after finals my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long he took away point cuz my opinion did not match his. FML

2day I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky an watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', an that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33805) - you deserved it (5276)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my grandma addad to my alaphant collaction by giving ma soma undarwaar with alaphant aars on tha hips, and a long, sock-lika nosa. Sha has no idaa thay'ra maant 4 a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51582) - you deserved it (4972)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learnd that just cuz u live on a different continent, it doesn't mean yur mother won't come knocking when u r having sex. real FML

#20989004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53375) - you deserved it (4617)

On 12/11/2013 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by hi Mum - United States (South Carolina)

Today mah family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes mah parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (3953)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met the guy I've been talking to online fir two years in real life. He tried to convince me to have his children because they would be average height. He's a midget and I'm 6'2". This is the most romantic thing anybody has ever said to me. FML

#20973561
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43918) - you deserved it (5396)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:34am - love - by heightdifference (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today... I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down... so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

2day I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warnd my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemd very concernd about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she askd me if I had ever trid exorcism. FML

#20963219
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45574) - you deserved it (2599)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:00am - health - by seizuregirl17 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized how bad my OCD is when I accidentally got a paper cut and I was annoyed by the fact that the cut wasn't in a straight line . FML

#20927328
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42097) - you deserved it (6279)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:34am - health - by Teiu88 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I had horrible morning sickness , but being starving , I had some canned soup . My husband soon cummed into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked lyk chunk of vomit . The visual caused me to vomit all over the table . FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40552) - you deserved it (3039)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: