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Today, my wife changed her name back to her maiden name. Why? So people would stop asking questions about us. We have been married for 15 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16355) - you totally deserved it (1242)
On 01/18/2010 at 12:06am - love - by unloved (man) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20778) - you totally deserved it (1602)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5879) - you totally deserved it (1987)
On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38278) - you totally deserved it (3868)
On 01/16/2010 at 4:24pm - love - by Awkward (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7553) - you totally deserved it (4179)
On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, at work, I was accidentally knocked down a long flight of stairs. Determined to keep my balance I went with the fall, hoping to regain my balance on every step. By the time reached the bottom, I had so much momentum I crashed through a plasterboard wall, into a board meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you totally deserved it (1638)
On 01/13/2010 at 9:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my friend told me men can't be trusted. I told her that wasn't true; I have my husband's password to his email but I never check it because I trust him. She bet me he was doing something bad, and to prove her wrong I looked. Turns out he has been cheating on me for 8 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you totally deserved it (2545)
On 01/13/2010 at 7:40am - love - by BetrayedGirl (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7129) - you totally deserved it (919)
On 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Narehs (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my Boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7270) - you totally deserved it (24983)
On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15883) - you totally deserved it (1534)
Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5805) - you totally deserved it (19803)
On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He says "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you totally deserved it (1904)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:46am - kids - by mandiballz - United States (California)
Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17529) - you totally deserved it (5589)
On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18035) - you totally deserved it (1585)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18486) - you totally deserved it (5318)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
