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sage_sharpe

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sage_sharpe

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  • Number of visits : 19
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sage_sharpe's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

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Mobility

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sage_sharpe's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49943) - you deserved it (11636)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68412) - you deserved it (6516)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

#20709788
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50678) - you deserved it (3463)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45228) - you deserved it (7937)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53155) - you deserved it (13246)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53155) - you deserved it (13246)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50897) - you deserved it (4683)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64436) - you deserved it (5945)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45901) - you deserved it (9192)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

#20620574
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52755) - you deserved it (14145)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

#20609608
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76123) - you deserved it (6953)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68394) - you deserved it (10865)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)



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