safehaven633

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safehaven633

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 114
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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safehaven633's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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safehaven633's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

by Unfortunate / 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML

by Marjorie / 07/13/2012 at 1:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

by pmek / 03/26/2012 at 5:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

by bellerz14 / 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend left me for my neighbor. Her name is Hope. She'd better "hope" I don't take a dump in her yard. FML

by queenlatifa101bebe / 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health

Today, I found out the hard way that if you think a waiter is hot, you probably shouldn't tell your parents. They could react by screaming at him across the room to tell him you think he's a hottie. FML

by anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 12:34am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, at the Museum I volunteer at, I was touching some of the things in the exhibit where you can feel what natural boobs and testes feel like. I started rolling the "boob" like a stress ball and forgot where I was. When I realized people were staring, it became very awkward. FML

by latino / 11/11/2010 at 6:30am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He suddenly pulls away, and goes, 'OMNOMNOMNOM' then continues kissing me. FML

by anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love