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saf99me

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saf99me

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 483
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About saf99me : I love reading FML's when I need to have a laugh xD xD

saf99me's page activity

Visits<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:06pm<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:09am<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:09pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:33pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:01pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:27am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:39am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:51pm<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:10am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 1:37am<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:36pm<b>asparagus12</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 4:03pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Kiddfresh80</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 4:20am<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:09pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:13am<b>mufster</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 4:50am

saf99me's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of saf99me's badges

saf99me's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (4548)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23001) - you deserved it (3349)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (5865)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87774) - you deserved it (14676)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after finishing a three-page essay for my spanish class, I went to rip up my brainstorming paper in an act of triumph. After I finished ripping it up, I looked on my desk to see my brainstorming paper fully intact, and my essay torn into bits. FML

#5238031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10251) - you deserved it (61777)

On 09/13/2009 at 9:00pm - work - by thissucks (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57151) - you deserved it (8734)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65903) - you deserved it (9311)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML

#267818
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53883) - you deserved it (12253)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by EFFED4LIFE (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had a job interview. I stopped to take a pee in the lobby before I went in. I relaxed a bit too much at the urinal and accidentally farted. I chuckled about it like a 5-year old for a few seconds. The guy that had been next to me at the urinal was the interviewer. FML

#253814
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (42441)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:45pm - work - by ADH2000 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22881) - you deserved it (1776)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML

#2137
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38662) - you deserved it (2023)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)



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