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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 789
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About saf99me : I love reading FML's when I need to have a laugh xD xD

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saf99me's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of saf99me's badges

saf99me's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (4698)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26364) - you deserved it (4947)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32649) - you deserved it (7375)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40454) - you deserved it (4804)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you deserved it (31310)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16448) - you deserved it (52927)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29058) - you deserved it (2806)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35480) - you deserved it (6934)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37222) - you deserved it (5359)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25547) - you deserved it (3742)

On 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34025) - you deserved it (4855)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (3680)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (6326)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

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