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saf99me

Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 5:36pm) | Search for a member

saf99me

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 589
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About saf99me : I love reading FML's when I need to have a laugh xD xD

saf99me's page activity

Visits<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:08pm<b>Ch_rae5</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:30am<b>csmiles</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:03am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 10:56pm<b>TeenieRee_2032</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:12am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:44pm<b>usarmywife</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:43am<b>Marie54321</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:43pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:24pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:51pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:29pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 3:48pm<b>jenninator93</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:06pm<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:09am<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:09pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:33pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:01pm

saf99me's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of saf99me's badges

saf99me's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14943) - you deserved it (50071)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (2642)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33520) - you deserved it (6673)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (5123)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

#14075452
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (3575)

On 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30721) - you deserved it (4557)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24270) - you deserved it (3479)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (6057)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88162) - you deserved it (14712)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after finishing a three-page essay for my spanish class, I went to rip up my brainstorming paper in an act of triumph. After I finished ripping it up, I looked on my desk to see my brainstorming paper fully intact, and my essay torn into bits. FML

#5238031
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10811) - you deserved it (63128)

On 09/13/2009 at 9:00pm - work - by thissucks (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57508) - you deserved it (8771)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66063) - you deserved it (9320)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML

#267818
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53988) - you deserved it (12268)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by EFFED4LIFE (man) - United States (Georgia)



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