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saf99me

Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 9:34pm) | Search for a member

saf99me

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 716
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About saf99me : I love reading FML's when I need to have a laugh xD xD

saf99me's page activity

Visits<b>LadyLelan</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:44pm<b>TypicalDaniela</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:40pm<b>MrMoofinMan</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:48am<b>noisyboy4000</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:28pm<b>Atomic_Mushroom</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:49pm<b>Dogfoodlid</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 3:07am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:04am<b>lonter20</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 5:19pm<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:08pm<b>Ch_rae5</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:30am<b>csmiles</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:03am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 10:56pm<b>TeenieRee_2032</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:12am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:44pm<b>usarmywife</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:43am<b>Marie54321</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:43pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:24pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:51pm

saf99me's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of saf99me's badges

saf99me's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (4563)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24111) - you deserved it (4672)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (7330)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40043) - you deserved it (4775)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8749) - you deserved it (28693)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16221) - you deserved it (52503)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (2767)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

#15580957
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (6862)

On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36699) - you deserved it (5296)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

#14075452
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (3708)

On 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33483) - you deserved it (4804)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (3489)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (6264)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States



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