Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

saf99me

Search for a member

saf99me
  • Town/Country : Pittsford, NY, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 114
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About saf99me : I love reading FML's when I need to have a laugh xD xD

saf99me's last visitors

olpallybeatlesgirl2u2mokieloveMagicGiraffeSweetasCandy0609bellabuxtonmiwakodaniel_dd31od4evPleonasmpatrickalamo

saf99me's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of saf99me's badges

saf99me's favorite FMLs

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8304) - you deserved it (22232)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21402) - you deserved it (3665)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (5080)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28917) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I was making hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6822) - you deserved it (19573)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (1812)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27132) - you deserved it (3909)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (3500)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

#6753816
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16305) - you deserved it (4496)

On 12/14/2009 at 7:00pm - misc - by fire - United States

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75050) - you deserved it (10604)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after finishing a three-page essay for my spanish class, I went to rip up my brainstorming paper in an act of triumph. After I finished ripping it up, I looked on my desk to see my brainstorming paper fully intact, and my essay torn into bits. FML

#5238031
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7809) - you deserved it (46500)

On 09/13/2009 at 9:00pm - work - by thissucks (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49129) - you deserved it (6973)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57485) - you deserved it (7513)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was late to school for the third time this week because my alarm clock didn't go off. I clearly remembered setting it, so I videotaped myself sleeping. It turns out I've been turning off my alarm clock in my sleep. FML

#267818
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48093) - you deserved it (11041)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by EFFED4LIFE (man) - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Sharina's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! Glad to see you all again, hope you’re doing fine and dandy. We are, amazing stuff has happened in amongst all the drudge and sludge. We’ve spent the week listening to the greatest album ever…

Friday 24 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: