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saf99me

Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 5:36pm) | Search for a member

saf99me

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 593
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About saf99me : I love reading FML's when I need to have a laugh xD xD

saf99me's page activity

Visits<b>kikoma</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:08pm<b>Ch_rae5</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:30am<b>csmiles</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 3:03am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 10:56pm<b>TeenieRee_2032</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:12am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 4:44pm<b>usarmywife</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 5:43am<b>Marie54321</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 11:43pm<b>patrickeli</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:24pm<b>origamidragon</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:51pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:29pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 3:48pm<b>jenninator93</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 11:08pm<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:06pm<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:09am<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:09pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:33pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:01pm

saf99me's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of saf99me's badges

saf99me's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you deserved it (7674)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18731) - you deserved it (35538)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (6177)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML

#21317146
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16420) - you deserved it (25263)

On 12/14/2014 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33082) - you deserved it (4467)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27456) - you deserved it (3289)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10227) - you deserved it (31303)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28641) - you deserved it (4407)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30576) - you deserved it (7077)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38636) - you deserved it (4647)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8708) - you deserved it (28584)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)



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