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saf99me

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saf99me

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 384
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About saf99me : I love reading FML's when I need to have a laugh xD xD

saf99me's page activity

Visits<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 2:09am<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 10:09pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:33pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:01pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 1:27am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:39am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:51pm<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:50pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:10am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 1:37am<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:36pm<b>asparagus12</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 4:03pm<b>Comet_Candy</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:53pm<b>Kiddfresh80</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 4:20am<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:09pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:13am<b>mufster</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 4:50am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 9:40am

saf99me's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of saf99me's badges

saf99me's favorite FMLs

Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

#20520875
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27277) - you deserved it (3273)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML

#20422230
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10147) - you deserved it (31163)

On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

#20019911
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (4300)

On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

#18209782
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29586) - you deserved it (6932)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I will be sleeping in my aunt and uncle's living room. It is 90 degrees. There is an air conditioner but if you turn it on, the raccoons living in the wall will get pissed off and try to claw through the wall. Only five more nights sweating my balls off or imagining racoons having angry sex. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36789) - you deserved it (4484)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8650) - you deserved it (28429)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14848) - you deserved it (49829)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25900) - you deserved it (2536)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33470) - you deserved it (4980)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

#12172658
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (4538)

On 07/28/2010 at 8:40pm - love - by tryon777 - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

#8153486
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22905) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:11am - health - by NotSoSick (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML



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