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Today, my boss called me into his office. He had a huge smile on his face, so I assumed I was going to get promoted. He then sat down, and told me that he had been sleeping with my wife for the last three months. He still had a huge smile on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51812) - you deserved it (1859)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:41pm - work - by smiletellsall (man) - United States (California)
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15004) - you deserved it (362527)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25165) - you deserved it (75897)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (71408)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49885) - you deserved it (2141)
On 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47690) - you deserved it (4408)
On 08/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Michelle - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (213037) - you deserved it (10187)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (189233) - you deserved it (21758)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182980) - you deserved it (61947)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4897) - you deserved it (21689)
On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (2123)
On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version
Today, my Art Director once again turned down a demo model (for an advertisement) that I'd been working on for a week. This time he took his belt off and started thrashing the model to pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17169) - you deserved it (1161)
On 12/14/2008 at 10:24pm - work - by Fuzy - Sent from mobile version
Today, I baby sat a four-year old kid, because his parents went partying. Once in bed, he yells "I want to go party!!". After 3 or 4 times, I told him to go to sleep. 2 hours later, wet bed. "Told you I want to go potty!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12125) - you deserved it (34170)
On 10/31/2008 at 3:06am - kids - by Tara - Sweden (Blekinge Lan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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