sadlife

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sadlife

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  • Number of visits : 2957
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

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sadlife's page activity

Visits<b>perdix</b> - the 02/27/2010 at 9:47am

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sadlife's favorite FMLs

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year old daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "the talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

by airplanes-suck / 08/20/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there, to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride: 1 - Getting Laid: 0. FML

by razgriz1 / 08/20/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2009 at 1:30am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a date with a guy, we were sitting in a restaurant having a fairly good conversation, when I had to go to the washroom. I left the table and when I came back, he was gone. Along with my wallet and car keys. FML

by LifeFucksUsAll / 08/19/2009 at 3:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

by Wowfmylife / 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

by malebonding / 08/17/2009 at 9:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

by Squashed / 08/15/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Love

Today, I found out that my parents are first cousins. FML

by jellybean_94 / 08/15/2009 at 12:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2009 at 3:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

by Ouch / 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids