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saaamie's favorite FMLs
Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML
by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz / 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by GotMyBitchBack / 09/05/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/01/2013 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no / 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm / Greece (Attiki) / Miscellaneous
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
by pizza girl / 08/30/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Mississippi) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML
by lord kuntface / 08/22/2013 at 5:33pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by theuglyone / 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
by shut_up / 08/21/2013 at 10:08am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML
by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by sirradel / 08/19/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Love
Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Health
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my phone provider informed me that I had 12 messages waiting for me on my voicemail. Happy… Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…