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Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 4:48am) | Search for a member
About ryanthecheeseguy : Fuck. These "About you" sections are hard.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today , I was sitting on a bench at the local park , eating a banana. A guy old enough to be mah grandfather walkd by , turnd to look at me , then said ( Young man , I wish I were that banana. ) He walkd away , an I almost blackd out choking on it in shock. FML
Today, I tried fixing mah dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out 4 trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking an acting pissy ever since . FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today mah wrists were looool hurting really bad while working the production line!! I was told to let mah supervisor know so he can help accommodate it!! Both supervisors respondd by ending mah employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage!! FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work !! I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall !! I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I hered someone enter from behind me !! FML
Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie . When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie . FML
Today I've ad my tent ( Cristmas ) dinner since Cristmas last took place . My mum as gone nuts and keeps playing Cristmas music making tese dinners and refusing to let me take down te Cristmas decorations . My dad is too wipped to save us from tis ell . FML
Today, My Son Was Playing The Sims,hen I Saw Him Remove The Door To A Room And Set It On Fire With A Sim Trapped Inside. I Chuckled At First, Until I Saw That The Sim Was Me. Meanwhile, My Wife's Sim Was Happily Painting In The Next Room, Not Giving A Crap. All Too Accurate, Sadly. FML
Today, I watchd mah father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He trid to play it cool, said, "Haircuts r too expensive these days anyway." and walkd out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015