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ryan5w4's favorite FMLs
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
by longsock123 / 04/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Gioia / 04/30/2013 at 8:28am / Bulgaria (Vidin) / Love
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
by Wow. Really? / 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML
by bad day Brutus / 04/29/2013 at 1:26am / United States / Love
by gross. / 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
by goingtobeevicted / 04/25/2013 at 2:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 11:20am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 12:55am / Germany / Work
by Out from Hell / 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was told that I don't meet the minimum requirements for a job I applied for. I currently hold the same job, at the same facility, but just wanted a day shift. Apparently I'm not qualified for the job I've had for 2 and a half years. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
by How strange / 04/20/2013 at 8:02am / United States / Love
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Kids
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work
by Wallz99 / 04/19/2013 at 2:00am / Pakistan (Azad Kashmir) / Intimacy
- Today, during an extremely romantic moment of cuddling with my girlfriend she started to cry, turns… Today, I decided to mow the lawn. I keep an old pair of sneakers in my shed just for mowing, so I… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'…