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ryan5w4's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
by peallow / 05/12/2013 at 1:01am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
by What the fuck, son? / 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Kids
by stephscort / 05/11/2013 at 9:32am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by GaveAnInchTakeAMile / 05/11/2013 at 5:52am / United States / Miscellaneous
by tdrtnlz / 05/11/2013 at 2:25am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Love
Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML
by paintfarts1976 / 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm / Ireland (Westmeath) / Love
Today, I was questioned by police for forcing a 12-year-old to get in my car. That 12-year-old is my daughter, who refused to get in until I agree to buy her a highly expensive purse just to become popular. FML
by brokedad / 05/09/2013 at 9:41pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
by bet a woman would've been thanked / 05/07/2013 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals
Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML
by Marmarfarfar / 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 11:00am / United States / Work
Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML
by clutzasaurus / 05/03/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Holidays
Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML
by sharibaby / 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…