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ryan5w4

Offline (the 12/10/2014 at 2:08am) | Search for a member

ryan5w4

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 432
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ryan5w4's page activity

Visits<b>DarkPandaXD</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 6:37pm<b>zman0900</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:22am<b>loltroll667</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 2:43am

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ryan5w4's favorite FMLs

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

#20991671
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39809) - you deserved it (3141)

On 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by thank u usa (man) - Germany

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55054) - you deserved it (4031)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML

#20869282
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35740) - you deserved it (2240)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by Zuzubat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (3218)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

#20856004
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36007) - you deserved it (4026)

On 08/27/2013 at 12:36am - kids - by Parenting... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47484) - you deserved it (19369)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43454) - you deserved it (13058)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58227) - you deserved it (16070)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31384) - you deserved it (47805)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is bringing his friends on our trip. I'm now the third wheel on the romantic trip we've planned for a year. FML

#20705634
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52205) - you deserved it (4459)

On 06/04/2013 at 3:11pm - love - by TheThirdWheel - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48294) - you deserved it (4416)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52741) - you deserved it (2870)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56039) - you deserved it (4369)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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