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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ryan100

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ryan100
  • Town/Country : new york, usa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 February 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1063
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

#4562834 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (28454) - you deserved it (1834)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by Tgreject (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

#4244213 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

#3681487 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (42499) - you deserved it (1398)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

#2796619 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (80402) - you deserved it (6663)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:51am - money - by TSampson (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (47979) - you deserved it (4915)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I almost drowned in the ocean after being sucked into a rip current. When I finally managed to make it back to shore breathless from all the energy it took to get back, I looked down and my swimming trunks were gone. I was crawling on the ground naked in front of a hundred people. FML

#1771675 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (50676) - you deserved it (2695)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by matt5th35hit (man) - United States (North Carolina)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML

#1178108 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (9885) - you deserved it (45538)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

#1091323 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (22674)

On 04/18/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by xxxdwangelaxxx (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I locked my keys in my car, after spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour the guy showed up to unlock my car, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and said " You couldn't just reach in"? I forgot I left he window open. FML

#1054531 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (73946)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

#1048842 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (58577) - you deserved it (8315)

On 04/17/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by RotoRooter (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

#1016784 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (48817) - you deserved it (10469)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

#983061 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (11433) - you deserved it (60060)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592 (250)

I agree, your life sucks (77395) - you deserved it (28876)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (70671) - you deserved it (6121)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (402826) - you deserved it (26899)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)