Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

russianspy1234

Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 8:51pm) | Search for a member

russianspy1234

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4720
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

russianspy1234's page activity

Visits<b>jt3226</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:20pm<b>magnificini</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:31am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:41am<b>billionair11</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:19pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:12pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 8:51am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:05pm<b>evanr344</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:17am<b>stonedagain</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 3:55am<b>Istah</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 2:39am<b>miamiyako</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:24am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 12:20pm<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 10:46am<b>lucilu89</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 10:41am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 10:05pm<b>Not_You_Again</b> - the 09/27/2011 at 1:09am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:37pm<b>gaspardls</b> - the 08/17/2011 at 12:55pm

russianspy1234's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of russianspy1234's badges

russianspy1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (7088)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

#17175800
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (6721)

On 07/19/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Miriden - United States

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

#17174791
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52324) - you deserved it (6682)

On 07/19/2011 at 7:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I finally told my girlfriend of four months that I love her. Her response was, "Uh... thanks?" FML

#17162598
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34302) - you deserved it (8022)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:05pm - love - by womanlover12345 - Spain

Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML

#17150895
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28005) - you deserved it (4145)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:59pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML

#17148663
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28322) - you deserved it (4017)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38394) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50210) - you deserved it (7802)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

#15165493
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12883) - you deserved it (36145)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:18pm - health - by Baileyy - United States

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13198) - you deserved it (34342)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

#15150978
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (4750)

On 02/28/2011 at 11:26am - work - by Username -

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

#15131061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32325) - you deserved it (6909)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by sweet2u22 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized it feels better when I sneeze than when my boyfriend and I have sex. FML

#15124262
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32207) - you deserved it (5197)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:18am - intimacy - by horriblegf - United States

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83998) - you deserved it (13017)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

#874593
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (106212) - you deserved it (8819)

On 04/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by intranator (man) - Jordan (Amman Governorate)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: