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russianspy1234

Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 8:51pm) | Search for a member

russianspy1234

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 May 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4972
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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russianspy1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36846) - you deserved it (7616)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

today mah girlfriend freakd out on me because I answerd her call on the first ring. According to her it implies that I'm desperate always horny an just want her fir the sex. Just last week she got pissd because I waitd three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41287) - you deserved it (5974)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Mah Girlfriend Broke Up With Me Because Of A Bad Haircut . She Was The Oneho Cut Mah Hair . FML

#17383595
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34063) - you deserved it (3671)

On 08/06/2011 at 12:58am - love - by meach - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend 4 the frst time. He was looool so nervous, he broke down in teres after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (5424)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today te woman I'm training at work askd ile staring intently at te keyboard "now ic one of tese buttons is te space-bar again?" Se is 80 years old types about 1 word per minute and I ave just one week to get er completely traind. FML

#17376704
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (2589)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

yesterday I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41134) - you deserved it (5508)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today mah boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for mah vagina!! Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex!! FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51389) - you deserved it (9866)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY, I WAS FEELING A LITTLE NAUGHTY, SO I PUTTED ON A SEXY OUTFIT, LAID DOWN ON THE HOOD OF BOYFRIEND'S CAR, AN WAITED FOR HIM TO FINE ME. WHEN HE CUMMED INTO THE GARAGE AN SAW ME, HE FREAKED OUT AN BITCHED AT ME, CUZ I ( COULD HAVE DENTED THE CHASSIS ). FML

#17322871
425 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34183) - you deserved it (14940)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women askd me to stand up an take their picture. FML

#17253981
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37974) - you deserved it (5332)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, mah grlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

#17227486
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45264) - you deserved it (5619)

On 07/23/2011 at 7:00am - love - by Baconcook3000 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today... I am sitting at ome... alone... playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to ang out tonigt. FML

#17211324
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45524) - you deserved it (4342)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:23am - love - by bridetobe (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, ma girlfriend's overprotective parents decided tat I'm a bad influence on tere daugter. I'm a straigt A engineering studento openly speaks out against drugs, alcool, and discrimination. Tier reason? Someone told tem I dyed ma air black. Tey tink I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42400) - you deserved it (3739)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me , calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" fir getting his "baby looool girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married fir 3 years. FML

#17187115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48110) - you deserved it (2845)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

TADAY I DISCOVERED THAT WHEN YOU BUY ROPES, DUCT TAPES, A SHOVEL, RAZOR BLADES, A FIRE POKER, AND A CARTON OF CIGS, THE POLICE CAN TURN UP AND SEARCH YOUR HOUSE 4 'PRISONERS'. THOSE ITEMS WERE ACTUALLY COINCIDENTAL. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35430) - you deserved it (7311)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking fir a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then askd if she was mah wife. Annoyd, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggerd an hung up. FML

#17175800
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (6740)

On 07/19/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Miriden - United States



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