russianspy1234

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Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 8:51pm)

russianspy1234

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 May 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5645
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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russianspy1234's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:23pm<b>LadyIrene</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:50pm<b>sleepyfires</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:32pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:17pm<b>calvinbenik</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:58am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:34pm<b>jt3226</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:20pm<b>magnificini</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:31am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:41am<b>billionair11</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:19pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:12pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 8:51am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:05pm<b>evanr344</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:17am<b>stonedagain</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 3:55am<b>Istah</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 2:39am<b>miamiyako</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:24am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 12:20pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:23am

russianspy1234's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of russianspy1234's badges

russianspy1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

by Username / 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

by meach / 08/06/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

by jhftrainer23 / 08/05/2011 at 10:42am / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

by username / 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

by Baconcook3000 / 07/23/2011 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love

Today, I am sitting at home, alone, playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to hang out tonight. FML

by bridetobe / 07/22/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Vermont) / Love

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

by rbeast / 07/21/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

by Harry / 07/20/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Kids

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

by Miriden / 07/19/2011 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous