Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 8:51pm) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
today mah girlfriend freakd out on me because I answerd her call on the first ring. According to her it implies that I'm desperate always horny an just want her fir the sex. Just last week she got pissd because I waitd three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
Today te woman I'm training at work askd ile staring intently at te keyboard "now ic one of tese buttons is te space-bar again?" Se is 80 years old types about 1 word per minute and I ave just one week to get er completely traind. FML
TODAY, I WAS FEELING A LITTLE NAUGHTY, SO I PUTTED ON A SEXY OUTFIT, LAID DOWN ON THE HOOD OF BOYFRIEND'S CAR, AN WAITED FOR HIM TO FINE ME. WHEN HE CUMMED INTO THE GARAGE AN SAW ME, HE FREAKED OUT AN BITCHED AT ME, CUZ I ( COULD HAVE DENTED THE CHASSIS ). FML
Today, ma girlfriend's overprotective parents decided tat I'm a bad influence on tere daugter. I'm a straigt A engineering studento openly speaks out against drugs, alcool, and discrimination. Tier reason? Someone told tem I dyed ma air black. Tey tink I'm a "closet Nazi". FML
Today , I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me , calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" fir getting his "baby looool girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married fir 3 years. FML
TADAY I DISCOVERED THAT WHEN YOU BUY ROPES, DUCT TAPES, A SHOVEL, RAZOR BLADES, A FIRE POKER, AND A CARTON OF CIGS, THE POLICE CAN TURN UP AND SEARCH YOUR HOUSE 4 'PRISONERS'. THOSE ITEMS WERE ACTUALLY COINCIDENTAL. FML
Today, I got a call from a creditor asking fir a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then askd if she was mah wife. Annoyd, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggerd an hung up. FML
Friday 27 March 2015