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russianspy1234

Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 8:51pm) | Search for a member

russianspy1234

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 May 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5124
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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russianspy1234's page activity

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russianspy1234's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of russianspy1234's badges

russianspy1234's favorite FMLs

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

#17420241
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36968) - you deserved it (7629)

On 08/09/2011 at 5:21pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41430) - you deserved it (5985)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML

#17383595
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36965) - you deserved it (3922)

On 08/06/2011 at 12:58am - love - by meach - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (5572)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

#17376704
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29083) - you deserved it (2596)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

#17352313
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43794) - you deserved it (5787)

On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51523) - you deserved it (9891)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

#17322871
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36045) - you deserved it (15553)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

#17253981
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38139) - you deserved it (5343)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I put 7 kisses at the end of a text instead of 10. She said that our relationship was bound to fail if "I can't remember important things like that". FML

#17227486
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47921) - you deserved it (5890)

On 07/23/2011 at 7:00am - love - by Baconcook3000 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I am sitting at home, alone, playing video games. My wedding is tomorrow afternoon. None of my bridesmaids wanted to hang out tonight. FML

#17211324
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48328) - you deserved it (4594)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:23am - love - by bridetobe (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44618) - you deserved it (3913)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML

#17187115
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50448) - you deserved it (3005)

On 07/20/2011 at 3:40am - kids - by Harry - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36479) - you deserved it (7432)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a call from a creditor asking for a Sarah. I told them that I'm not Sarah, nor do I know one. They then asked if she was my wife. Annoyed, I said, "Alright, when did I get a wife? I don't even remember having a girlfriend." They sniggered and hung up. FML

#17175800
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27927) - you deserved it (7125)

On 07/19/2011 at 10:41am - misc - by Miriden - United States



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