russianspy1234

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Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 8:51pm)

russianspy1234

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 May 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5445
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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russianspy1234's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:23pm<b>LadyIrene</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 4:50pm<b>sleepyfires</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:32pm<b>XmasaX</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:17pm<b>calvinbenik</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 5:58am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:34pm<b>jt3226</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:20pm<b>magnificini</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:31am<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 5:41am<b>billionair11</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:19pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:12pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 8:51am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:05pm<b>evanr344</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:17am<b>stonedagain</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 3:55am<b>Istah</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 2:39am<b>miamiyako</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:24am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 12:20pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 3:23am

russianspy1234's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of russianspy1234's badges

russianspy1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm / United States / Love

Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML

by Rebecca / 05/21/2012 at 10:11am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

by analeis / 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

by haileypaige123 / 02/06/2012 at 10:32am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / United Arab Emirates / Kids

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

by Sally / 12/26/2011 at 6:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

 Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML

by AL / 09/21/2011 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2011 at 2:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy