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russianspy1234

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russianspy1234
  • Town/Country : San Diego, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 May 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 4580
  • Number of comments : 245
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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russianspy1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (3185)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

#20107518
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (1480)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29369) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19000) - you deserved it (1770)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

#20068529
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (3434)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14219) - you deserved it (3052)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29430) - you deserved it (5864)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML

#19995981
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20192) - you deserved it (1657)

On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend. He won't go on a cruise with me in the gulf of Mexico, because he thinks we will crash into an iceberg like in Titanic. FML

#19950905
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (3121)

On 07/17/2012 at 5:11pm - love - by Alliente - United States

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

#19950706
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15868) - you deserved it (1221)

On 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML

#19901344
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23498) - you deserved it (1430) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm - misc - by Lyn (woman) - France

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8533) - you deserved it (19404)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

#19799062
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (1811)

On 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by mystery - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (10822)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)



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