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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5733) - you deserved it (1265)
On 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5340) - you deserved it (1173)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:11am - work - by Rebecca (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9432) - you deserved it (872)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3946) - you deserved it (6473)
On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5706) - you deserved it (12662)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6092) - you deserved it (1933)
On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (3401)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (4925)
On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8796) - you deserved it (2598)
On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25507) - you deserved it (3843)
On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he randomly sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9385) - you deserved it (1718)
On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)
Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML
I agree, your life sucks (33125) - you deserved it (1677)
On 09/21/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by AL - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18161) - you deserved it (3936)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8985) - you deserved it (2688)
On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12378) - you deserved it (1094)
On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States
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