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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I got asked on a date. I was later told we had to cancel. Why? My ex is parked in front of his house and he is afraid to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33417) - you deserved it (2579)
On 06/29/2011 at 4:41pm - love - by nolove4me (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31288) - you deserved it (9226)
Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (13034)
On 05/25/2011 at 10:10pm - work - by wtffireworks! - United States
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (6137)
On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (32325)
On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)
Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59552) - you deserved it (6011)
On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32864) - you deserved it (11290)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (61035)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I decided to be safe and tested a small dime-sized amount of Nair on my inner arm before using it. I didn't react badly. But as soon as it was washed off from my down-there hair I sure as hell reacted, with small bumpy red dots that look like an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27942) - you deserved it (9391)
On 08/15/2009 at 1:22am - health - by Dammit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13253) - you deserved it (45839)
On 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by unlucky (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42748) - you deserved it (3986)
On 07/25/2009 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving 3 of my guy friends to a party that was half an hour away. There was an awkward silence for most of the trip. I just figured out why now. I've had sex with all 3 of my guy friends. They talk about it when I'm not around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9031) - you deserved it (76131)
On 06/25/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18487) - you deserved it (65451)
On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59896) - you deserved it (16692)
On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
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