About runner2731 : I am a guy.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my ex boyfriend apologized for being a jerk to me and threatening our relationship. When he was done, he asked if his apology earned him enough points for a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25081) - you deserved it (3936)
On 01/21/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by SillySillySilly (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, we had our annual office Christmas party. The theme of the party was "Ugliest Sweater". The winner was a sweater that I have an exact replica of in my closet. It's my favorite 'special occasion', 'family portrait' and 'holiday' sweater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15601) - you deserved it (8794)
On 12/10/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by NotHauteCouture (woman) - United States
Today, I came back home to meet people before going away to university, including my ex and her new boyfriend. We broke up about two months ago and there were no bad feelings between us, so I decided to have a chat with them. I asked "How long have you been going out?" He replied "Seven months." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31201) - you deserved it (1668)
On 11/01/2009 at 2:02pm - love - by H4rd_Man (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30580) - you deserved it (271130)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (550036) - you deserved it (35347)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (526538) - you deserved it (319327)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461445) - you deserved it (573261)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353286) - you deserved it (66644)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (989910) - you deserved it (78782)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (484046) - you deserved it (43475)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527242) - you deserved it (37895)
On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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