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rudegirlmania's favorite FMLs
Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my fiancé left me waiting at the train station for two and a half hours because he offered his ex-girlfriend a lift to her friends wedding that was a few cities away. I normally wouldn't have minded, but I'm 6 months pregnant and it was pouring with rain. FML
by ali456 / 12/01/2013 at 10:16am / United Kingdom (Dudley) / Love
Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML
by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML
by curvster daughter / 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm / United States / Kids
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:08am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by NotTheSoulMate / 09/26/2013 at 2:54am / United States / Love
Today, the boy who loved me and left me literally became the poster boy for my college. His picture is on the home page of the college website and on a banner in the cafeteria where I eat every day. FML
by justonce / 09/23/2013 at 6:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML
by ElizaZee / 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML
by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML
by heartbroken / 09/09/2013 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Love
by /(•'_'•)\ / 09/07/2013 at 12:59pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by whatjusthappened / 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder.… Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen… Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m at this huge beach party in Thailand. I kiss a beautiful girl and decide to take it to… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…