rubberduck1

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rubberduck1

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 748
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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rubberduck1's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

by RachelDC / 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming 'sexy'. The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

by mtorres8789 / 06/27/2009 at 2:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

by poop / 05/18/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML

by hipthrustdude / 05/18/2009 at 8:04am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Work

Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML

by kas / 04/30/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

by SwimSquid / 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, the director of the play I'm in decided to explain why we got the parts we did. He said he tried matching our characters to who we actually are. I play a whore who's a transvestite. FML

by InsideActress / 04/05/2009 at 3:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML

by StephD / 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my sister had a friend over and I had just gotten out of the shower. I wrapped something around me and walked across the living room. When I walked through, they both started laughing hysterically. Turns out, I grabbed a poncho and the hole for the head ended up right over my crotch. FML

by Noname / 02/22/2009 at 11:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML

by EOJ / 02/10/2009 at 12:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids