rubberduck1

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rubberduck1

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  • Number of visits : 880
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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rubberduck1's FML badges

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rubberduck1's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 10:40am / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend what celebrity I look like. He thought long and hard, then said "Sarah Jessica Parker." I gasped and told him that I find her extremely hideous. He replied "So do I." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2010 at 7:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML

by Fire_Crotch / 08/14/2010 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

by one_BAMF / 07/25/2010 at 1:06am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I received a letter in the mail. The letter was from a woman who explained to me every single detail of a three month affair she had with my husband. She included pictures. FML

by tj85 / 02/17/2010 at 2:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

by sadcat / 02/06/2010 at 10:19am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML

by Brummsta / 01/27/2010 at 2:41am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman pushed me at the bar and told me how much she's always hated me. She was my grade five teacher. FML

by flurina / 12/18/2009 at 3:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

by ohmy / 12/17/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada / Animals

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

by Paramedic / 11/17/2009 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Rochdale) / Work

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

by munchkin / 10/26/2009 at 2:35am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a piss in a port-o-john and thought it would be a good idea to aim at a bee I saw buzzing around. The bee thought it would be a better idea to sting me on the knob. FML

by Bee / 08/31/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

by hantavirus / 08/26/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

by 1234 / 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous