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rubberduck1

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rubberduck1

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  • Number of visits : 487
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  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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rubberduck1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML

#20002813
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32195) - you deserved it (1595)

On 08/04/2012 at 8:44pm - misc - by m - United States (Indiana)

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

#19949441
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21131) - you deserved it (4915)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

#19276871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20814) - you deserved it (2229)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25249) - you deserved it (4175)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7370) - you deserved it (24225)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

#18749585
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17258) - you deserved it (31378)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52454) - you deserved it (4473)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

#18608467
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (2462)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (2406)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

#18515573
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (2985)

On 12/14/2011 at 10:34pm - misc - by Mariah Heimann - United States (Illinois)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8979) - you deserved it (40963)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

#18034396
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31628) - you deserved it (8939)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:24pm - health - by box bulge - China

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (3109)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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