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rubberduck1

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rubberduck1

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  • Number of visits : 452
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  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

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rubberduck1's favorite FMLs

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11930) - you deserved it (28079)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7322) - you deserved it (32286)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22656) - you deserved it (2426)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (1486)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9203) - you deserved it (42868)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (1605)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (2994)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (7550)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (2156)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (6492)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML

#20127529
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16702) - you deserved it (1377)

On 10/21/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by smdh - United States

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7859) - you deserved it (21785)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

#20119263
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (2527)

On 10/16/2012 at 4:07am - kids - by Mike - United States

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

#20068907
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23755) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22520) - you deserved it (1872)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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