Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

rttr

Search for a member

rttr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1187
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About rttr : Hey, what's up! I like Halo, The Elder Scrolls, basketball, reading, and biking.
I apologize for grammar/spelling mistakes. I'm on my phone.
Have a good day!

rttr's page activity

Visits<b>TheSovietOnion</b> - 21 hours ago<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:01am<b>btob143</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:09pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:48am<b>lpaz</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:13am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 4:39pm<b>arrowhead532</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 2:44pm<b>happylappy</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:26pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:02pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:38am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 11:18am<b>random_cashmere</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 9:29pm<b>jubejube239</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 8:57pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Voltze</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 12:47am<b>PurelyCanadian</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:53pm<b>boomboom838</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:30pm

rttr's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of rttr's badges

rttr's favorite FMLs

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30805) - you deserved it (2919)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8751) - you deserved it (66112)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML

#18579452
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (30872)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm - health - by justnance - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML

#18444427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30703) - you deserved it (4492)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:13pm - love - by grannygirlfriend - United States

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (67250)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54237) - you deserved it (3888)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38905) - you deserved it (5268)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

#18162768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (3430)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by mcadabax (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40406) - you deserved it (3009)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13621) - you deserved it (34792)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (5039)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16603) - you deserved it (24117)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my friend decided to jump out of a moving car. I had to explain to the nice old lady who stopped that my friend who was convulsing on the ground wasn't on drugs, he's just really stupid. FML

#17903189
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24976) - you deserved it (2751)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by dmanrique - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12282) - you deserved it (38814)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19947) - you deserved it (43744)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: