About rt567 : love basketball, name is Talia, and fighting paralysis. walking now 👌👌
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rt567's favorite FMLs
by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by poserpilot / 11/12/2012 at 10:10am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/26/2012 at 10:23am / Canada / Health
by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm / Thailand (Krung Thep) / Love
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by Darwin_Award_Winner / 06/07/2012 at 8:10am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
by fuckparents / 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy
by queenlatifa101bebe / 12/09/2011 at 9:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health
by wheezy / 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm / United States (Washington) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…