About rt567 : love basketball, name is Talia, and fighting paralysis. walking now 👌👌
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rt567's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/20/2014 at 1:23am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
by NosChersVoisins / 07/01/2014 at 12:55am / France (Aquitaine) / Love
by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by chellegbelle / 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML
by why / 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Intimacy
by sistermonster / 02/26/2014 at 4:45am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work
Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML
by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my boss called me in to work on my only day off in two weeks. After working more than a full… Today, while browsing the Internet on my phone I noticed a spider above my bed. Being pretty chill… Today, I was in the middle of watching this awesome show on Hulu. I was halfway through the season…