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About roztheunicorn : Obviously, I'm a unicorn, named Roz. That's pronounced like Rose, my creators just found it necessary to shorten the word by one letter and add a z in place of an s for... emphasis?
Another random fact is that I am a Martian as well as a unicorn, a... marticorn... or unitian... whatever. By the way, our skin is NOT green.
It's purple, duh.
You are most likely an Undercover Unicorn Hunter from the FBI so I won't bother to tell you anything more, so I won't be seeing you anytime in the future... unless you're lucky.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart . Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me andhispered ( sperm ) into ear . My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before . FML
2day while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
Today mah grlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing mah junk and whispering in mah ear looool the song "Baby Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public because it's "funny as hell." FML
Today , my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of erself in my boxers. I tougt it would be funny to take a picture of myself in te tong se left in my room and send it to er. Se tougt it would be funnier on looool Facebook. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with husband on our anniversary day. He climbd on top of me an firmly placd his penis on nose. When I askd him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter an said I lookd just like Squidward. FML
2day ma girlfriend and I were taking a sower togeter!! We were fooling around wen se takes te sower ead and starts spraying ma penis wit it!! I asked er "wat are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
Today, I Told Mah Boyfriend I Was Pregnant. While I Was Asleep, He Drew A Face On Mah Stomach Andhen I Woke Up He Was Talking To It. He Said It Would Be Less Wierd If He Was Talking To Mah Stomach With A Face On It, Representing The Baby. According To Him, Our Child Is Going To Have A Mustache. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet is friends at one of is exclusive ( clubs. ) Expecting it to be is old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of te Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
Today... I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers calld a code pink in aisle 22... which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hereing about how hot she was... I went over to see her 4 myself. It was my mom. FML
Friday 27 March 2015